How can i forget my past

Playing the role of the victim is easy and sometimes feels pretty good, especially compared with accepting the truth. The problem is, blaming others prevents you from going forward. Most often, pointing fingers is just complaining. Life coach Ruchika Batra also adds on Pick the Brain that blaming others gives power to someone else and makes us small.

We loathe someone else or some external factor because we were not able to mold life into our own favor. One of the most effective ways to let go of the past is to embrace the present. Instead of reliving the past and getting consumed with negativity, keep yourself active and enjoy the current moment.

Learn a new skill. Have dinner with a friend. Make a new friend. I personally "cope" by building my business and the future of eCash. It motivates me and helps give me something to devote my life towards. To achieve a more mindful state, be aware of what you are thinking and feeling, reduce self-consciousness, seek out new experiences and accept your negative feelings and situations as merely being a part of life. Allow yourself to take some time away so that you can clear your head.

You don't have to go backpacking through Europe. Just remove yourself from the situation by distancing yourself from the people, places and things that remind you of the past.

Take inventory of the people around you. Who is negative and always bringing you down? You may need to move away from these individuals to find more positive people who will empower you. What separates us though, is how we deal with that pain. One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum.

How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts. Focusing on yourself is important. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present.

The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera , a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future has on us. Olivera says this looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others.

In fact, Durvasula says that many times, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go. Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go.

When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Olivera says practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. But talking it out is important.

Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work on your own forgiveness. Forgiveness is vital to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feeling you may be experiencing and move on. Getting it off your chest one time is good, but you will need to keep re-visiting and talking about it. If there's no one in your life you feel close to or trust, reach out to someone in your life that you really like.

Ask them to do something fun and, if that feels good, invite them to do something else in the future. Spending time with this person can help you begin to form a close relationship. Be aware that talking about trauma with someone can cause them vicarious trauma, in which they experience symptoms of trauma from listening to your story of trauma. Try not to be offended if your friend can not listen to your story everyday. Family and friends are a great place to start, but if you are needing more support, a trauma counselor is trained to avoid vicarious trauma.

Make a list of ways you can take care of yourself. It can be hard to think of ways to comfort yourself when you're having a difficult time. Write a list of things that make you feel better and post it in a prominent place so you can reference it easily. Some possibilities include: Do something creative, like painting, drawing, woodworking, needlepoint, or other crafts. Get some exercise. It doesn't have to be intense — you could just go for a walk around the neighborhood.

Or try running, swimming, playing a sport, dancing, hiking, or anything else that gets your body moving. Play with children in your family or a pet. This can have a very calming effect, which can make you feel better. Sing quietly or sing at the top of your lungs. Fill your lungs with fresh air and belt out your favorite tunes. Wear something that makes you feel good.

Put on your favorite shirt or some jewelry that you enjoy wearing. Method 3. Become aware of your surroundings. Stop rushing through life and letting your mind get stuck in the past.

Instead, take in everything around you, whether it is feats of nature or man-made creations. Make a conscious effort to pay attention to each aspect of your present life.

For example, take a walk and look at everything around you. If you are outside, look at the trees, the ground, and all the scenery. Feel the air on your skin. If you are inside, pay attention to the color of the walls, what sounds you hear from others in your area, or how the floor feels under your feet. This will help you stay focused on the present and be mindful of your current surroundings. Slow down. People often speed through life as they rush from one moment to another.

Make yourself slow down and enjoy everything you do, even if it's boring. For example, pay attention to your actions when you get a snack. Grab a handful of grapes and consciously look at them. Notice their shape and size. Eat one and pay attention to the flavors. Enjoy the burst of sweetness on your tongue and the sustenance the fruit is giving you. It's okay not to be thrilled with everything that happens to you every day.

If you are doing a project at work that you don't like or have an obligation you don't enjoy, that's okay. Instead of rushing past it, think about what you are doing each day and experience it.

Change your routine. One way you can get stuck in the past without knowing it is to get stuck in a routine. Maybe you do the same thing the same way every day or at the same time every week. While routine can be comforting, it can make you feel stuck and forget about the present all together. Instead, change up your routine. Walk a different way to the bus stop or drive a different way to work. Even making subtle changes can help you break out. Change what you eat every day. Incorporate newly learned words into your vocabulary every day.

Anything that can make you take notice of what you do on a daily basis will help you live in the now instead of the past or future. Take note of how the oatmeal you eat every morning tastes or what the trees look like out the window on the way to work.

Pay attention to calm moments. There are points in almost every day where you might have to wait for something. You could be in line at the supermarket or waiting at a red light in your car. During these moments, resist the urge to look at your phone and instead notice things around you. Become mindful of your surroundings instead of wasting time grumbling about how you wish the line was shorter or the light would change. These are great moments to take in simple, small things in your present life.

Avoid using your phone to pass the time. Instead, look around you at other people in line or in cars around you. Smile at someone or strike up a conversation with the person behind you in line.

Keep trying things until you find the best way for you to stay in the present moment. Leave yourself a reminder. In order to keep thinking about being present, especially when you first start, you may need a reminder. Tie a string around your wrist, paint one nail a bright pink color, or wear your watch upside down. Let the object serve as a reminder.

Every time you see the reminder object, take a few seconds to focus on the sounds, smells, and sights around you. Take stock of how you feel and what you are doing. This will help you stay focused on your current situation and not dwell on the past or future. Focus on the task at hand. Instead of mindlessly doing something, take the time to do something well.

Let yourself be drawn into a writing assignment for school, a project at work, or your chores around the house. Engross yourself to the point where the thoughts of the past and the future fall away. This is easier if you don't multi-task.